On this subject I wonder several times and between all the possible questions there are some who, most of others, are recurring in my mind:
My interest in the theme “give /receive ” began many years ago, when I started to attend training classrooms of all kinds.
The theme, in fact, can be traced in many professions based on the helping relationship and the improvement of relations.
Verily, after so many years, I have not found all the answers jet … I feel a new researcher governed by an insatiable interest of making new discoveries and new experiments.
Mind you, the spirit that shakes my curiosity is driven by a mix of personal and professional interest that, in recent years, has become more and more pretentious; a kind of respect towards those who attended my classes.
However, forming Professionals Coach brings me to face many situations in relation to all kinds of people; for example, such as renowned trainer (coming to my courses after completing lot of seminars by the theme) or good professionals like many counselors and psychotherapists.
Certainly, it’s easy to understand the complexity of the topic, but it must not be omitted the extraordinary opportunity to enrich our own lives.
Let’s start from simple things … the tip of the iceberg is represented by the language and the ability to listen … together are undoubtedly the basis of any exchange of quality relation.
After all think about it: we “give” to others through communication and “receive” through the ability to listen the others.
It ‘just after this “simple” concept that stops linear comprehension giving way to a series of complex ramifications that touch on the essential core of human beings. By the way… the Essence … an elusive term, useful to limit something shy and very difficult to understand; a gray area that often find it hard to frame and to identify fully.
Moreover, learn the rules of effective communication and active listening is quite simple. Discovered some basic feature (technical and theoretical) is easy find person (and professionals) able to respect that I consider the first step for build a successful and satisfying relation. But is not enough… the problems arise when the goal is push our self a bit more over. In this case comes in a variety of complex factors, fist off all the ability to “accept” the other person.
Oh yes, you understood well: I’m referring to the ability to accept a person different to us and at the ability to grant a space for action inside our world in a suspending judgment and pre-judgment.
Believe me, is really difficult. Yes, is difficult because you have to active a set of behaviors and feeling which are regularly affected by our “interference”, ours needs and our emotion (often unconscious)
Let us clarify the problem: the ability to accept the other passes through hospitality, unconditional offer of a place and time, but also through the ability to recognize our emotions, our body, our automatic reactions.
To “make true acceptance” you must start from the awareness that who talk to us (relying parts themselves) does so through its own value and its own needs, with which we must learn to come to terms.
Only by recognizing these processes we will have the opportunity to “meet” who is speaking to us and to establish with him a deep understanding (logical and emotional) based on the true empathy.
Accept, then, mean admit diversity and judge them us part of other persons; accommodating means having the ability to give space and hold what we feel to share or, if not, accept, with loving respect that is important and have sense for others.
In short, to really accept someone we must admit a different kind of life. Then, the family, friendships, professional relationships cease to draw from “the traditional model.”
People are treated with proper respect and the right to be unique and unrepeatable is regularly listened. It is considered legitimate and finally accepted.
In conclusion: a person capable to accept base their relations on mutual expression of emotion, gave without fears, the freedom to follow its own course, their choices and their pleasures.
What to add? Enough for today, but we will continue to talk about. Now a beautiful smile and … at work!